MICROWAVER19800

Hey SharkBrewers! I know we have been inactive lately but we are back with one the most shocking news ever. As you might know I'm working for the company sharkbrew, I was very proud being their most non bias news reporter and I was honored to get this job! But lately i'm more and more ashamed of what it has become. We use to be one of the most strict websites in terms of propaganda and trolling. Whatever was posted on the brew was the truth and nothing but the truth. But reasonly bias moderators like @@Braden have used their powers to promote their clan. We let it slight and ignored it and continued to post the truth and we were under protection from gettting banned by you amazing readers. But it has hit the point that the propaganda,corruption and the bias moderators from TLP have hit an all time low. Our insider in the sharkbrew staff has confirmed that TLP has faked the yearly sharkbrew awards votes in hope to revive their clan and make them look good. Since we all know TLP is on their last breath before closing for the 9TH time. We decided to contact @@Suddenly and he had the following to say: ''I got a list send by @@slushpuppy, but the next day @@Braden Pmed me on IRC saying the awards were wrong and that TLP has won all of them. Out of my own perspective I knew this was a lie and trolled him and charged him 40m to re-do. He actually agreed saying it was cheaper than a wildy pass" ~Suddenly We were not done yet and asked suddenly what happend to the original awards: "Since you're the only non bias news-reporter I will give you them for free to expose TLP and braden" ~Suddenly We also asked @@Thimaah what happend to EoP's awards: "Gotta confirm with callers before talking about closing" ~Thimaah Here are the original awards presented by nobody less than SharkNews: Best F2P Clan: Most Consistent: Best Leadership: Best Community: Best Banter: Most Intense Clan Rivarly of 2015: Most Bias: We thank you as the community for helping us expose these clans, its a real shame that even things like these are being corrupted within this community. SharkNews hopes you enjoy the original awards with the original voting results. mfw TLP mods thinks we off. Last but not least we spoke to @@Father Justin and he said TLP will be punished by staying banned.

Did you confirm this with your callers? We will keep you updated on this one!

Hey Sharkbrewers! It is your one and only SharkNews reporter! Today we have some different news not straight up wilderness related but still quite disturbing. Lets get straight into! So as you guys might of heard ex-[EoP]Leader @@Leech has stepped down in EoP because he was to "bussy" clubbing and attending party's. Take a look at the following status updates from leech: < You're btw! But according to our sources ex-[EoP-Leader]Leech does not go outside and is to afraid to step up or simpely isn't able to handle it. Our source had the following to say: "Leech is 24/7 on teamspeak getting bullied by his own members, if he isn't on teamspeak he's playing fifa with m69 and makes a status update he's clubbing to make him feel better" ~ Source We found these disturbing status updates about leech on the forums: "So this Fat ass leech guy started to flame me soon as i came on ts3 today and started to flame me about that i didn't fuck any girls on new year. What i find really funny is this fucking fat ass cow stayed home and played FIFA 16 on new year while i was out partying, Who the fuck stays home and plays FIFA on fucking new year !? i feel actually bad for you dumbass looking beach whale. It's funny how leech always says im a virgin, but the truth is leech ur a motherfucking virgin aswell and with that body what you have atm you will never see a pussy in ur brown sticky stuffty ass life. Also why the fuck do you play fifa inside on a play station when you could go outside and play real football and lose some fucking weight." "So this leech guy aka mammoth has been flaming a lot past 1 month about that i don't lift, Im a virgin, i have no Friends and i just play rs 24/7. Well the truth hurts leech, because look at you ugly fucking fat ass mammoth, your telling me your not a virgin when you weight over 400 pounds fucking fat ass elephant, And then again you was on a diet for 1 fucking week and then u failed god bless your Fat pack. Your playing league of legends atleast 10h/ day and and then you tell me i have no life? just because your not on ts3 does't mean you have a life broccoli, everyone of us knows ur sitting behind the computer playing LOL with m69 and the crew. The funny part is leech haven't driven a car in his life and he almost 20 god fucking bless man, The only place he has been working in was burger king and he only gained 100 pounds weight there thats it. He also keeps asking ''When was the last time i was in a club'' and he knows that Im underage and i can't attend to any clubs/bars, Well let me tell you guys something, This leech guy went to his first club when he was 19 and took videos from some random girls saying weird stuff, I DO NOT salute this you big cheek fat ass." We have asked @@Thimaah about this issue with @@Leech, he had the following to say: "Gotta confirm with callers before talking about leech" ~Thimaah ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We got one more story for you guys! [EoP-Applicant]Victory has officially hit a all time low when he tried to flame RD but manages to make once again another mistake. When you think it can't get any worse after your/you're this happens, the following image can be considered as shocking: After close investigation it really does say "what are rd" We really don't want to put [EoP-Applicant]Victory to much in the spotlight since we still do not know if he's suicidal or not, but we decided to give him a helping hand and hand him this link so he knows there is still hope: http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/80128/what-are-or-what-is In other news we had a quick talk with @@Father Justin and he said that TLP is still banned from the wilderness, but now EoP is banned aswell due them getting caught crossing the border more than their twice a week limit. We thank you for reading SharkNews and voting us for the best News publisher, without your support we weren't able to do this!

The real question is, are you still suicidal?

Hey fellow sharkbrewers! We got a very exciting story for you guys today! The Last Pures and Sovereign both confirmed to have a matched prep! But not just one prep, TWO preps. In BOTH brackets!! AND A 50V50 MIN HOLY SHT! THATS MORE THAN EOP PULLS! -P2P 7th of January -F2P 8th of January SV does not have alot to lose, they can still return to the wildy and offer their clan lootation and continue to charge TLP whenever they want to enter it. Unlike TLP they cannot return to the wildy and their only current save shelter is under attack right now. If TLP loses this prep they will probably close for the 9th time since they have nothing left to return to. In other news, we've spoken to @sudo and he told us that his booter sales is on the highest peak ever since the EoP vs FI fullout. Apparently TLP is really one their last option, since 30 defence did not work out for them (@FoE). Currently Propaganda is not working out either since TLP made it public that they are really banned from the wildy. @@xgot Early in the morning on December 29th 2015, Local authorities were alerted to a man yelling "PUFF PUFF FO SMOKED". Once they got closer they realized it was the lost TLP leader Hanuman. He had been hiding for 4 days ever since Sv banned TLP from the wilderness. Today we had a exclusive interview with the warlord of Sovereign @@Father Justin and the leaders @@Im_soBeast and @Hittin: "Its not going to be easy, but we are prepared gear wise with all the lootation TLP has donated to us. Gold websites are doing great business cus of us." ~Babalanka "Win or Lose, they will stay banned from the wildy" ~Im_SoBeast "Its going to be fire just like my mixtape" ~Hittin It would be totally bias if we did not do a exlusive interview with TLP so we hit up @@Braden @@Hanuman, they had the following to say: "Sudo gave us a discount on his booter service so we gladly accepted" ~braden "Puff SV smoked puff puff" ~Hanuman We asked @@Thimaah and @@Solo K1ng about their declined prep vs SV and their thoughts on the TLP vs SV: "Gotta confirm with callers before doing the interview" ~Thimaah "Rather TLP than EoP on a date btw" ~Solo K1ng ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @@Father Justin has officialy confirmed that TLP will remain banned from the wilderness whether they win or not. The offer for a legal wilderness pass is still open but the price has gone up to 75m after TLP has illegaly tried to enter the wilderness at 4 AM? We will keep you updated, if more news about this appears about this prep appears. And don't forget 1 like = 1 IP changed.

Hey there! SharkNews has the full exclusive story about TLP's lost but returned leader, lets get straight into. Around 5 days ago TLP's lost leader @@Hanuman has disappeared, it was unknown where the leader had went or for how long he has been gone. TLP has been living in fear due them being on their weakest point ever since the the horrible rivarly loss against FoE. Many said that hanuman was not capable to handle the back to back rivarly vs FoE and SV. Even thought these are all rumours it started to really look like it. BUT! Today the lost TLP leader has been found, we got this exclusive message from [TLP]xgot: Early in the morning on December 29th 2015, Local authorities were alerted to a man yelling "PUFF PUFF FO SMOKED". Once they got closer they realized it was the lost TLP leader Hanuman. He had been hiding for 4 days ever since Sv banned TLP from the wilderness. Today, [TLP-Leader]Hanuman has been found by the local authority @@Father Justin after he got caught hopping the wildy border without a legal identification. Several illegal immigrants including hanuman were killed today most likely coming from TLP. We had a exclusive interview with one of the local authority's named @@Im_soBeast that operates within the wildy patrol about this massacre. We have asked im_Sobeast why they killed the TLP immigrants he had the following to say: "Its illegal to hunt on private property, we had all the rights to take them down and take their possession. On the other hand we did give them a free trip back to lumbridge where they are free to go where ever they want". To find the full perspective from SV's massacre you can go the following article. http://www.sharkbrew.com/community/index.php?/topic/14623-sovereigns-midweek-pk-trip-banning-tlp-from-the-wilderness/ To get legal wildy passports you need to /Query a SV operator. They have confirmed that the price for these passports are currently 50m. We're currently working on the Doom vs Critical Damage story and the hacked TLP member by [sV]Xiyara. It really sucks that TLP is going through such a rough time, but its really sad if they cannot keep their members secure. Stay tuned!

Do you really want me to put in the news: "Doom members leaks dick pic".

I am here to inform you that this is terrible, this cannot be used a news.

You tell me!!

Hey fellow sharkbrewers, We got another story for you guys today, this is quite a disturbing one but lets get straight into it. One of our reporters was browsing the http://sharkbrew.com when he came across a disturbing status update of [EoP-Applicant]Victory We didn't believe it at first, but after close investigation it really does say '//wrists'. Does this mean [EoP-Applicant]Victory is cutting himself? We have tried to contact @@Victory for some answers on why he posted this disturbing message. He has not replied to any of those yet, we're currently asking CP ( @@messi ) if they know anything about this but it seems like aren't aware of the fact he was suicidal either. Lets hope current EoP applicant victory will get some professional medical help. I hope you guys will send him your support, its truly hard to see somebody within our community going through this insane depression. Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won't show up on your phone bill. In other news, we're still working on the lost TLP leader story, bare with us while we're working on it!

We're currently investigating the sudden loss of TLP's leader. If you have any information about this subject pls let us know. For now, there are only rumours to what happend.

My reporter told me that you had cutthroat on the hotline and brought a TLP main group to fight CP. I cannot take this serious after #farmers today. Feel free to pm me any news about SV mains!

I Don't understand how this has anything to do with me!

You're focusing on the wrong part of it, what you should be asking is: What clan gets their leaderboards leaked?

you're tell me!

Welcome to sharknews, Today we have a special item for you, lets get straight into the news! TLP's leader hanuman has officialy been missing for over 4 days, is this because SV ended their pk trip? Is he not able to handle the back to back rivarly loss to FoE and SV? All we know is that @@BarrageKyle is still trying to back his clan up even after every devastating loss or humiliating defeat. Lets hope for TLP they can pull everything together before barragekyle gets leader. Afterall they are still leading in the highest closing rate. In other news, #farmers? A Main clan that was originally created on a private server by former and current TLP members to rag clans when they weren't able to compete. Are they re-opening farmers again as a desperate attempt to fight JaJa? Is EoP going to be involved with #Farmers? You tell me! And did SV really get acces to EoP/TLP's leaderboards. We found this today on their forums! @@BarrageKyle could you explain this to us? It seems like you're losing even when there are no weekend trips. And last but not least, some positive news, @@Father Justin has returned to SV with 24/7 border patrol. He has currently refused several TLP members to hop the ditch and killed over 50+ of them who still tried to enter the forbidden area. Oh wait, this is still negative for TLP. Godbless if you're in TLP must suck. We will be back when SV make the leaderboards public or when when there is more information about TLP's lost leader hanuman.

Thats finding it, not making or fixing it sherlock holmes.

It me rage reject