Piers

Great to see the scene active during the week! Awesome job.

Zerg Unit visits the Wilderness, twice. I have to give a massive shoutout to the newly opened Exiled Forces. Without you our weekend would've been shit, thank you for the fights -- and respect for fighting down opts a couple of times. Saturday, 13th June - Zerg Unit vs Exiled Forces While Astro and Terror fought their retarded rivalry with every account bar their actual pures (genuinely, your snipe teams, mains, and tanks are fucking disgusting) we got back to some good old, wholesome pure-on-pure action with Exiled Forces. Sunday, 14th June - Deja Vu, basically the same as Saturday. Alright, so as Astro and Terror fought their retarded rivalry with every account bar their actual pures (genuinely, your snipe teams, mains, and tanks are fucking disgusting) we got back to some good old, wholesome pure-on-pure action with Exiled Forces. Again. Except this time instead of fighting 5x on Corp Hill we sniped Terror and Astro outside Chaos Altar before chasing Exiled Forces to Single. Then we took a wander over to Sperm Hill where Exiled Force rushed us down 6. Fair play lads, we respect that. You've got fucking balls. Unfortunately we made quick work of them, and went onto our next fight with (you guessed it) Exiled Forces! Wow. This time we rushed them inside Chaos Altar. Bit of a slaughter, but again: props to Exiled Forces for valuing action over outcome. Ended the night by sniping anything and everyone in Astro and Terror's pathetic ditch fight north of Varrock. Guys, your rivalry is actual cancer. Just drop your stupid teams and mains, come back down to your 50 pulls and fight us. Avoiders. Join our Discord server: https://discord.gg/WqumDxd Idle in our CC: ‘ZergUnit’ Get a team-32 cape.

we don't. #quarantineclan

Zerg Unit's Week: A Recap Wednesday 3rd June - Wildy PKRI vs Rampage, crashed by Terror, followed by F50 vs Astro. I love the Wilderness. The petrified trees. The dark terrain interspersed with stagnant ponds and lava fields. But what I love more is when a clan has the bollocks to fight us in the wilderness, just like Rampage. In a quaint corner of the wilderness not far west of sperm hill 28 Zergs charged from atop a hill of petrified trees to face the 24 Rampagers laying in wait. It was a slaughter. But, knowing Terror were stalking us with 40 capes we made quick work of Rampage before moving South out of their sights. Then they had the audacity to claim a clear. Fake fucking news. I see you, Terror Spokesman. You lie-touting, truth-bending Fox News wannabe. Anyway, we sat on 18 ports with 25 people and Terror ran away. Then we went to clan wars to do some F50s versus Astro. We won both rounds. Do I really need to explain what happens? Just watch the video. Friday June 5th - Zerg Unit vs Astro Saturday, June 6th - Zerg Unit vs The World Fuck me what a day. The wilderness has never seen such carnage. This day will be written into Gielinor legend, up there with the Falador Massacre of 06/06/06. They’re already clearing a space in the dusty Varrock Museum to commemorate this day. Zerg Unit, clad in its iconic Scotland flag cape, clears the combined forces of Terror and Astro -- equaling to about 340 -- in a single charge. Not a single Team-32 Titan was lost in battle. Look, if you want the full story I suggest you go chat to Curator Haig Halen. I gave him a full account. He’s double-checked it, triple-checked it in fact, and he knows it’s true. Not a single inaccuracy. Exhibit releases 07/06/2021. Join our Discord server: https://discord.gg/WqumDxd Idle in our CC: ‘ZergUnit’ Get a team-32 cape.

Literally nothing in this is correct. The Trump Administration should hire you, you're brilliant.

nice

ty for the fights

i was there

ZERG UNIT STOCKS IN STONKING RISE AS BUYERS RUSH TO CAPITALISE ON UNMISSABLE OPPORTUNITY. Best XLPC sees +10000% growth in stock price after slapping the fuck out of some clans down opts. READ ON IF YOU WANT TO MAKE MONEY. Watch 00:00 - 00:35 - Does your clan have a TeamSpeak as fun as ours? Probably not. That's why you should watch. Highlights Zerg Unit vs Envy 26 Zergs, down 6 against the 32 Envy bois, took to the trees west of Chaos Altar to dish out Snares, Scims, and Slaps. Despite the six man difference we held our own and brought the difference down to 2, ending with 20 Zergs to 22 Envy bois. Zerg Unit vs Astro Call us crazy, call us mad. Or call us what we are: fucking Billy Big Bollocks. We fought Astro down 11. Yes. Eleven. But who gives a fuck because we're all stuck indoors on a Saturday when we should be smashing straight 10/10 punani - we wanted action. Action exciting enough to make up for the lack of pussy sat on our faces. We started with 31, Astro with 42. We ended with 24 after XL crashed the fight, with Astro having 29 capes on the counter. Yeah we didn't win but we turned a deficient of 11 into 5 and if you can't see that quick math makes for an awesome fight fuck you. Zerg Unit vs Astro, Terror, Envy Cluster East of Corp Cave entrance there's a raised hill with some trees. In those trees Astro discovered what it means to have their tiny, pink, warty arseholes torn apart by the 12" kangaroo cock. We started with 30 Zergs to 32 Astros. Five minutes later there wasn't a team-6 cape in sight. Then Terror appeared. And Envy. Oh hello, boys. You want some of this kangaroo cock too? Our pleasure. The fight ebbed and flowed from Corp Hill to 18 ports to the weird hill between 18s and pond. We fought everywhere. We fucked everywhere. Unfortunately what we were fucking wasn't 10/10 blonde punani but snotty nosed virgins in blue and green capes. What a way to spend a Saturday. Wow. Zerg Unit vs Terror, Astro, Envy., Rampage Cluster Okay seriously, guys. Guys. Can we stop fighting at fucking level 5 wilderness? What are we? We're all adults here. We're all losing out on 10/10 punani (let's face it we'd all pull that top tier shit) by being sat indoors playing RuneScape. Can we at least make it fucking fun? Fighting at ditch isn't fun, it's fucking lame. Grow the fuck up and come fight us at GDZ. Anyway, we rushed the blue cape clan at 13s. They ran away. We chased them. We cycled bows and binds for a while before getting bored and setting off to hit someone more interesting. Little did we know that everyone would run to fucking level 4. Fuck you. Genuinely. You're all so fucking boring. Big thanks for the fights though. Nobody took pictures so you've been blessed with a very rushed text wall during my lunch break. And no, before you ask, I am not banging 10/10 punani this Monday either. Shame. At least I'm not wasting my time in level 4 wilderness though. Videos Join our Discord server: https://discord.gg/WqumDxd Idle in our CC: ‘ZergUnit’ Get a team-32 cape.

Zerg Unit vs Terror Big thanks to Terror for this prep. We've been itching to scrap with you blue boys and it was thoroughly worth the wait. Cheers. Round 1 - Defending, Classic We lost. Credit to Terror for a very, very impressive multi-pile start. We couldn't recover from that big boi slap. Round 2 - Attacking, Classic 32 / 32 17 / 0 Round 3 - PKRI, Plateau 31 / 31 19 / 0 P.S. @DLPHN from RPI love you.

this is the most accurate thing i have ever read and i once read that i am gay

Let’s talk about the last week. You’ve all, probably, been sat in your bedrooms. Maybe you’ve been working, maybe you’re doing fuck all, maybe you’re rampantly masturbating, maybe - hear me out - just maybe you’re doing something productive like learning a new skill. I can tell you what Zerg Unit’s been doing: winning three preps before officially opening with a curb-stomping Wilderness arrival. 43 Zerglings strong, we set out from the Grand Exchange in full confidence. Our scouts knew everything and within fifteen minutes Zerg Unit was once again a Wilderness force. We banked and regrouped ONCE in a trip that lasted over three hours. Sustained only by the food, arrows, pots and resources we plundered from the dead corpses of fallen XLPC competitors, we dished out sweet dank murder from Wilderness levels 1-30 - because for some reason you losers refuse to go deeper than boneyard. We were at the heart of every cluster; we fought every clan. Terror. Envy. Excel. Rampage. Astro. They all had a taste of the unbridled chaos that is Zerg Unit. We’re back. And the scene is ours. Highlight fights Zerg Unit leashes Terror, Rampage, and Astro in Chaos Altar Zerg Unit pummel Astro on 18s before backhanding Terror Zerg Unit 2v1’s Envy and Terror Zerg Unit walks their dog aka #1 Ditch Standers aka Terror Want to join the next #1 XLPC? Of course you do. Join our Discord server: https://discord.gg/WqumDxd Idle in our CC: ‘ZergUnit’ Get a team-32 cape.

Agreed bro. I took the day off but I'll be back x

big zu bois dropping dank murder straight in the bois

Panda bois looking strong, love the topic!

Thank you to you too x

Zerg Unit vs EnVy So, yeah. We lost round one, it happens. Doesn't matter because we injected straight dank murder into their veins rounds two and three. Round 1 - Attacking, Classic 26 / 26 0 / 6 Round 2 - Defending, Classic 27 / 27 16 / 0 Round 3 - PKRI, Plateau 28 / 28 22 / 0 Do you want to join the next big thing in XLPC? The next number one? Course you do. Pop by our Discord and say hi: https://discord.gg/WqumDxd

Zerg Unit @slushpuppyand @Dark Invoker

Hey bro, what 08-12 clans were you in? Definitely recommend Zerg Unit, we've got A LOT of old schoolers from that era.

Word. Can't wait for a good RP vs ZU scrap.

Looked like a wicked event. Can't wait till ZU is in this mix.

Zerg Unit vs Excel 3 - 0 Big fat kekecocks laying down the slaps. Round 1 - Attacking, Classic 26 / 26 15 / 0 Round 2 - Defending, Classic 25 / 25 20 / 0 Round 3 - F50 PKRI Plateau 50 / 40 Do you want to join the next big thing in XLPC? The next number one? Course you do. Pop by our Discord and say hi: https://discord.gg/WqumDxd

cheers x

Yeah it's great. A silver lining to corona ?

Remember ya from then. Great vid. Lots of the boys from back there are in our discord, drop by and say hello if you want