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badass of the week

Kenan N Kel

By Kenan N Kel,
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Kenan N Kel Advanced Member

Kenan N Kel

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"The greatest happiness is to scatter your enemy, to drive him before you,
to see his cities reduced to ashes, to see those who love him shrouded in tears,
and to gather into your bosom his wives and daughters."

 

Genghis Khan was born in Central Mongolia in the year 1162 CE under the name "Timujin", meaning "Iron Man" and you know that when your parents name you after a Black Sabbath song you're going to be trouble.  Genghis Khan was definitely that;  he would grow to be one of the most ruthless and cunning military strategists of the Middle Ages and in his lifetime he would build one of the largest Empires in the history of the world.

Timujin was born the only son of the chief of his particular Mongol tribe.  He was kicked out of the tribe at a young age and was eventually captured by a rival group and kept him in a stockade for several weeks.  This made Timujin totally pissed and he broke free, escaped and gained control of his old tribe.  Once he bitch-slapped everyone back home that had pissed him off, some cauliflower rival group had the nuts to kidnap Timujin's wife and hold her for ransom.  Timujin got even MORE PISSED, raised an army and beat the crap out of the guys who had taken his wife and slaughtered their families.  Then he figured, "brown sticky stuff, while I have all these soldiers here, I might as well kick the ass of everyone else in the known world".  So he set about doing just that.

It only took a couple years for him to take over the neighboring tribes through warfare or diplomacy.  Once he had expanded his control to all of what is modern-day Mongolia and united the tribes of Central Asia into his "Mongol Horde", he assumed the title Genghis Khan, or "Great Leader" and used the combined power of his armies to crush anyone who opposed him.  He was ruthless and brutal in all of his military endeavors.  When a city was cauliflower enough to fuck with him, he would capture it and slaughter everyone he could get his hands on.  He would only allow a few survivors to run to neighboring towns and tell them how awesome Genghis Khan is, so when the Mongol armies came knocking on the door of the next town down the road, they would just do the smart thing and surrender instead of be completely obliterated.

No army in the world could stand up to Genghis Khan's dedicated troops.  His entire force was mounted and were therefore extremely mobile, and his mix of fast moving light cavalry, more heavily armored medium cavalry and horse archers were unlike anything the world had ever seen.  He would use his archers to harass the enemy and try to get them to break ranks so that his main force could isolate and eliminate the undisciplined enemy.  Footsoldiers had no chance of keeping up with the Mongol warriors and Genghis would use a series of feints and withdrawals to take advantage of his opponents.  No army on Earth could stop him.

The Mongols captured the Western Xia Dynasty in China, breached the Great Wall and conquered the Jin Dynasty in the South.  The Mongols had constructed portable siege engines that would be used to storm the highest castle walls before being broken down to small pieces and carried on horseback to the next city, allowing him to beseige and capture heavily fortified towns with ease.  After defeating his ancient enemies in China, the Mongols turned West.  The Russian and Persian Empires fell within a couple of years.  When Baghdad was captured, the Mongols wrapped the Sultan of Persia and his family up in a giant rug and then trampled him with their horses.  When the Mongols conquered the Russian steppe and stormed Kiev, they put wooden planks over the bodies of captured Russian generals and princes and slowly crushed them to death by eating dinner on top of them.  He was efficient and bloodthirsty, and by the time of his death Genghis Khan was master of most of the Eastern world.  He has earned a place in history as a total badass and one of the fiercest and most feared people to ever walk the Earth.

 
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